I met him during a time
Of uncertainty
A handsome man was he
But he was stuck
In a time of war
That's all he knew.
The biggest war
Was only in his mind.
It wasn't sex he was after,
It was finding his identity.
A great man was he
Destroyed by his past
That haunt him
Continually.
I didn't know what to do with him
But I showed him love
Naturally.
Trying to build trust,
He fell for me
But that scared him.
It was foreign.
He left.
Went back to what was familiar
Fighting that war
From his past
In his mind.
Time went by
He came back...
Looking for the same person
But the space that was forced between us
Caused growth.
I wasn't the same.
He was stuck in a time
Of the love he felt.
This caused war between us.
I didn't understand
War was all he knew
No love there.
It was unfamiliar
That's what caused
His scare.
Now I'm afraid.
Not sure of who he was.
That war destroyed a great man.
When I looked in his eyes,
All I saw was pain.
I wanted to love him to pieces
But he was not at peace
In his mind.
A constant battle
Between truth
And his past
That was all he knew.
I had to protect my sanity.
His actions gave me anxiety.
I loved him
But I loved me enough
Not to endure a battle
That wasn't mine.
The hardest part was letting go
This love that grew over time.
I pray for him often
That he defeat that war in his mind.
25 Oct 2020
Excerpt from my book, Thoughts of an Unspoken Mind
Though it is one of my favorites, this poem was written with a bittersweet emotion. I wanted to hold on to this dysfunctional love but it was not conducive to my healing. So, to my past love, my war veteran, I pray this poem finds you with hopes that you understand the love I had for you was undeniable true. But during that time of my healing, it was me I had to choose. You're my war hero and I thank you for being a part of my journey!
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